A reading from the book of Acts, chapter 9, starting at verse 1 and continuing through verse 8.
1. Now Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest, 2. and asked for letters from him to the synagogues at Damascus, so that if he found any belonging to the Way, both men and women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem. 3. As he was traveling, it happened that he was approaching Damascus, and suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him; 4. and he fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?” 5. And he said, “Who are You, Lord?” And He said, “I am Jesus whom you are persecuting, 6. but get up and enter the city, and it will be told you what you must do.” 7. The men who traveled with him stood speechless, hearing the voice but seeing no one. 8. Saul got up from the ground, and though his eyes were open, he could see nothing; and leading him by the hand, they brought him into Damascus.
I saw the light.
Saul of Tarsus and I have a lot in common. Saul and I grew up Pharisee. I mean baptist. I mean Christian. I mean religious.
Saul and I were good kids. We went to Bible camp every summer. We went to Bible studies when we were teenagers. We had perfect attendance in Sunday School. Even when we went on holidays, we had to find a church to go to so that we could maintain that perfect attendance and receive the award at the end of the year. I still have my certificate.
Our parents made sure we grew up with the education we needed to be strong in our faith, and secure in our future, in this life and the next
We didn’t swear, and we watched out to make sure that we were always a good influence on the other kids.
Saul and I were supremely confident by the time we reached adulthood. We had questioned our faith and found nothing lacking. We were exemplary, we grew up trained in The Way, and we knew that it was up to us to be a positive influence in the world.
Saul took to extreme measures. He killed people who violated the law. He only did this killing in accordance with the law. This was God’s will.
Saul and had I spent our entire lives living as God’s chosen people.
I have been a Christian all my life. Even when I was a baby, my parents dedicated me to the church. All my life I have grown up with the traditions and under the umbrella of God’s love. His banner over me is love. Jesus loves me. Because He first loved me.
I grew up knowing that I was a child of God. Knowing that I was lucky. Knowing that I had something other people would be jealous of. Knowing that I had a responsibility to share, and to carry on the tradition, and to witness, and to convert, and to be proud and enthusiastic and vehement in my faith. Just like Saul of Tarsus. I grew up Pharisee.
Maybe you keep reading “Pharisee” and feeling uncomfortable with the word. We hear about them not getting along with Jesus. Maybe I make you uncomfortable by referring to “Saul of Tarsus” so much instead of St. Paul. I mean, the Apostle Paul. Well. We have been given the story of Saul becoming Paul for a reason.
Saul killed people who abandoned God and followed ways that were not the ways of his fathers, of Moses and Abraham and Isaac. He killed people just as the law commanded. And then on the road to Damascus, God challenged Saul and said, “You’re dead to me.” “As of now, you’re Paul.” “Everything is different now.” “I am Jehovah and I am bigger than The Law.”
(note: I think I have paraphrased somewhat here, but refer to the scripture reading above for the original text.)
And what I have learned from this, from growing up Pharisee… is that we need to remember that God is bigger than The Law. Listening to Him is more important than anything. It’s personal. Listen to God, and enter the personal relationship He has invited you into. God is bigger than anything.
If someone said to Saul that God is bigger than The Law, would that have been heresy? Maybe. If I say to you that God is bigger than the Bible, what do you think?
We have to be humble enough to understand that God can at any time inform us that everything is different now, and what you grew up on is moot, save one thing. Save for the relationship you have with God Himself. That is all there is.
We have to be humble enough, that if God treats us exactly as he treated Saul, we will not abandon Him. If God tells us that things are different now, that the teachings we grew up with are wrong, we need to remain His servants, and listen.
If I have learned nothing else in my life, I have learned this from growing up Pharisee: only my relationship with God matters. And I’ll do what He wants me to do because He matters to me. Because He first loved me.